Prague, May 2016

This and That

Because a number of astrology experts have said this full strawberry moon (in Sagittarius, if I may add) is a good time to work on/toward your goals, allow me a mid-week journaling session. I hope the universe will think of this as me taking steps in making my dreams a reality.

• For our ELP session last Saturday, we were asked to make a ‘time diary,’ an audit of how we spend our working hours. I failed to do it because my work load last week was yet again on another level. Which made what the speaker said hit a nerve. She said we should “proactively choose what you work on day by day” and “decide where you go the extra mile.” I started thinking what it was I wanted to do, which the direction I wanted to take my career in and today, I realized, it really is climate/environment—at least for the foreseeable future. I sorrily haven’t been able to give more of my time to it, for a myriad of reasons. Whatever. Tonight, I made a pact with myself: I will, I should allot more of my time to it. I’ll start by doing at least one climate/enviro story a day. Small I know, but it’s a start. Wew, commitment!
• More on the ELP course: A journalist from China was assigned to critique my LinkedIn profile and she suggested for me to include something about “who you are, your values as a reporter, even just a sentence” and it really made me stop to think what my values are.
• Whenever Isa and Patty spoke of values during the pandemic, I was always stumped. I never knew what to say because I never bothered to know what mine were. Honestly, I didn’t know. Maybe because I also didn’t really give enough time to get to know myself? I was always chasing after everything and everyone and everyone’s approval, I forgot about myself. Perhaps that reveals what I valued then. [An aside, it was exactly what Tata told me seven years ago. I only understood last year.]
• Thank God this ELP course is forcing me confront myself. Been thinking about my values for two weeks now and this is what I’ve gathered so far: I value freedom and space. I value kindness. I value learning, the actual doing of things, and progress. But I don’t value perfection. I value honesty and authenticity. I value intelligence. But I also value a good time. I value the earth and the environment and I wish more people did the same. I value a good read and a good laugh! I value friendship, sometimes to a fault. I value my time. Ok, how am I gonna compress all this in one sentence?
• I guess ELP is the newest thing in my life because yes, another point on it: During our networking and branding session, it had us ask family/friends/colleagues/ex-colleagues about their opinion of us and our work. I’m not sure if it’s still accurate, given how much I’ve changed in the pandemic, but it was certainly flattering to hear what they thought of me. A number said I/my work was unique, creative, and extraverted. Another said I was curious, still another said I was goal-oriented and non-aggressive. I’m waiting on James, who promised he’ll send by Friday. I know I disappointed him at some point of our time working together but I look up to him so I really need to hear what he had to say! I love him!

The June 14, 2022 strawberry full moon in sagittarius

• I guess it really is about time, no? Just when I stopped chasing everything, just when I started trying to value myself did I end up in a course that encouraged me to do more of it. And where we are in the ELP course is also sakto lang with what the full moon is asking us to do. Galing lang rin sometimes.
• So here’s a note to self: Next time you start whining about not being there yet, look here and be reminded it’s all about time.
• I guess I never got to tell you, Diary, about getting into the Executive Leadership Program of the Asian American Journalists Association and the Oxford Climate Journalism Network? It was in the news (haha, ulul ko lang) and I was getting embarrassed and sick of promoting myself on social media. But yeah! I got in both! The OCJN will start in July and haha they told me they were gonna reach out before mid-June but it’s already mid-June so maybe tomorrow I’ll find something in my inbox?
• I pray both courses will lead me where I’m supposed to be and to do what I’m supposed to be doing.
• Like everybody else, I’ve made a habit of making a wish every time I encounter 11:11 on my clock. In the past year or so however, I started saying “amen,” instead of spelling out my wishes. Is this the equivalent of praying “Thy will be done”? Maybe. Are these beautiful career developments, Thy will being done? I hope so. I hope it doesn’t stop here.
• I was too early for an appointment at a government office inside a mall today, and mall security refused to let me in, so I ended up wasting time outside by the highway and I realized a point from the Doughtnut Economics just proved itself right again: Life really doesn’t have to be this hard. I don’t know why our institutions have made everything more difficult than necessary to live life but yeah. We could and should be leading better lives with more dignity.

MoMA New York, June 2015

• I mean, traffic for instance. There are real solutions being presented but authorities are playing blind. I mean, applying for a driver’s license for instance. They had me take and print an online exam but when I got there, they didn’t even look for the printed paper that said I’d passed. I thought everything was already computerized, but at one point during the process, they had me log in to the system using their computers. Ang labo.
• I’m not asking for a bed of roses. I’m just wondering, how did we get here? Why are we focused on the wrong things? Why are we being asked to go the longer route? Where did we go wrong? Have we stopped trying?
• On Thursday, I turn 41. I’ve lived through most of my fears already — resigning from jobs without the safety net of having another, being unmarried at 40, still living with my mom at her house at 40, etc etc —so I suppose it’s safe to say my fears are not all that. I mean, they turned out to not be that important after all. I’m still here, my fears didn’t kill me. Granted life could be so much better, I could be where things are actually working, and nature respected. But last Sunday, I saw a group of friends for lunch, had a drink to go with it, got treated to coffee, and laughed, laughed, laughed.